Who You Really Are
by Trinity Is God
Summary: Vauseman. People change and so do dreams and desires. As things are set in a forward motion and in the future but nightmares, daydreams and fears will the past prove to be to much?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Been forever since I wrote anything and couldn't stop until I get this little ficlet outta my head. This will be different than anything you've read so far. It's based in the future but eventually I will be having flashbacks. I based it off that episode of Cambodia but I changed things. We will see how it works. I love reviews

Also no beta I apologize if there are any errors.

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing. No money made. This is for the whole story. Move along move along.

XxXxX

She's living on a beach and time has passed; she's older now and content that much she can feel. It radiates through her whole body like a wildfire that is whipping down a mountain. She cannot remember the last time she felt this content in her life. She is lying on a huge bed on soft comforting sheets and an amazing burnt orange colored comforter wrapped around her.

The doors to the house they are staying in are wide open and the breeze is blowing in; the sounds of the waves crashing on the sandy beach are soothing and rhythmic.

She is so relaxed and drowsy, happy and warm. She feels a satisfaction in her life that hasn't ever been there. She felt real and alive and it was an indulgence that she finally allowed herself to have.

She shifts her body and lazily stretches her lean frame like a cat moving from her back to her side, blond hair splaying over the pillows as her right hand instantly going to the slight swelling of her stomach and smiles to herself.

Piecing gray-blue hues glance away from the laptop on the old wooden table as she notices movement on the bed. "How're you feeling?" her soothing voice murmured filling the cabana huskily.

The blond closed her eyes and sighed as Alex watched her to struggle to reawaken. "We're fine," she smiles as she feels the mattress sink.

A warm lanky body was instantly pressed up against hers and she shifts back against it. She felt strong arms envelope her body, one hand lacing their fingers together and the other roaming up and down her body as if feeling for anything wrong.

"I'm glad, I don't like seeing you ill Pipes," she said as her lips nuzzled against her cheek and the back on her neck down her shoulders.

Piper whispered "We'll we both knew it was going to happen eventually."

She felt Alex inhale her deeply and squeezed her hand.

"I didn't realize I signed on for the exorcism," she teased.

Piper rolls her eyes and huffs while Alex grins into her shoulder. She nuzzles her softly again and listens as Piper emits a low groan and moves nearer to her while her arm snakes into her lovers raven hair, pulling her undeniably closer.

Alex moved her hand to rest on Pipers enlarging stomach. "I can't believe we actually decided to do this," she murmured against her shoulder while her eyes closed as her long fingers strummed against Pipers tense belly.

"It's a little late for regrets," Piper whispered as she stiffened and trembled under her touch.

"No regrets Pipes, nothing of the sort. More of an 'I cannot believe how great life is moment' we're in this forever now," her deeper voice soothed her lover as she felt her shudder against her

She leaned up and kissed her fully on the mouth lowering her taller leaner body against Pipers, relishing the feel of her swollen stomach against her own skin but not putting her full weight on her. Piper's nimble hands slide easily under Alex's shirt idly running up and down her back.

"You're mine," she whispered huskily against her mouth.

"Mmm forever," she agreed deepening the kiss.

"Say it Piper," her low voice was urgent.

Piper gasped as Alex nipped lightly at her collarbone.

"I'm …. Yours….. Undeniably," she moans with pleasure her nails raking down Alex's back.

"Exactly, don't forget it either," she scoffed extracting her weight off the bed and turned to walk her lanky frame towards the bathroom.

"Hey?!" Pipers' voice calls out softly behind her confusion evident in her voice.

Her raven head pokes out from the door, eyebrow arched perfectly grinning like a kid on Christmas and Piper hears water filling into a giant oval tub.

She holds out her left hand out to Piper and her platinum wedding band glimmers from the light.

Piper pauses as she watches Alex's silhouette in the door frame. Her body still takes Pipers breath away every time. It's sleek and toned; her skin is pale and still utterly flawless. A slight tan line runs along her breasts and Piper knows it runs along her hips as well. She watches as the ring catches the light and glances at the one that matched on her own hand. They had come so very far.

"Now Chapman," she grins devilishly snapping Piper out of her reverie.

Alex stares intently as Piper moves she is watching how she moves paying attention to every last detail.

She observes as she groans from the extra weight, paying close attention as those blue eyes flash from light to dark as the pupils dilate and she sways unsteadily on her feet.

Alex growls her name and reaches her side in record time pulling Piper against her concern plastered all over her face. "You need to be more careful."

Piper rebounds and pushes her into the door shocking Alex. "Fuck being careful, I need to know you're going to fucking be here with me; with US. I need to know you're not suddenly going to get cold feet and gallivant across the world at a moments notice. I fucking need you," she whispers with venom. She looks deep into Alex's eyes ready to see anything and all she sees is instant fear and confusion. Her lips crash against hers and when her eyes open again they are the brightest shade of arousal blue she's every seen.

She cocks her head to the side and manages a small smile before stripping Piper completely naked relishing the site of her healthy glow of her skin. She feels as if she is on display and blushes profusely.

Alex strips quickly and settles in the tub and beckons her to join.

As she settles against her, skin to skin, Alex's heartbeat pounding reassuringly into her back. "We are just going to relax you know, no funny business."

Piper looked at her with mock surprise on her face before laughing "I'll take it," she sighs no sign of the outburst earlier in her voice as she leans back and enjoys Alex's arms that wrap around her middle.

"This is a little harder than what I expected. Sometimes I'm still shell shocked you wanted all this with me, instead of having a chance to do ecstasy in Cambodia."

"It was time to grow up and quit fucking around. I could only see myself with doing that with you," she replied nonchalantly. "Besides after everything that we have been through no one else would understand," she reaches for the soap and starts washing Piper's back and body.

"Exactly. Everything that was so fucked up finally has come together. That's how we are going to get through it as well. Together. If you even have a _thought_ of leaving me I want to you talk to me."

"No problem Pipes, quit worrying kid, all this unnecessary stress isn't good for you. You're my life now, and nothing will interrupt it. Both of you," her voice is sincere and full of love and Piper knew she meant it.

Piper turned and straddled her she grabbed her chin and forced Alex to look her in the eyes.

"If you fuck me over I swear to God Alex, I will find you and I will pull a Pennsatucky on your ass so fast you won't know what hit you."

XxXxX


	2. Chapter 2

A/N the more reviews I get the faster and faster I upload.

Thank you for those who do review and add and follow. It makes my day. I understand as of yet everything is futuristic - but I'll get there. :-)

Enjoy loverfaces!

XxXxX

Alex bolted up from the fevering nightmare that possessed her, making her awake soaking wet with nausea.

She glanced over at Piper's naked back highlighted only by moonlight – she hadn't awoken her and was relieved. She glanced up at the wall and closed her eyes biting her cheeks in an attempt not to scream.

'The Terrors' as Alex called them jokingly, drawing out a Kentucky accent made her shake to her bones. 'The Terrors' haunted both of them at times but mostly they haunted Alex more. When Piper was in SHU alone for months on end there was nothing to occupy Alex's mind which in turn could only think about what was going on with Piper.

Everything in her nearly six foot frame trembled like a an animal about to be put to sleep.

She flipped quietly on her back, her arms above her head attempting to control her breathing as she closed her eyes in an effort to ward off the insane images that flashed before her.

Suddenly two calm hands touched her gently while a weight landed on her body that she hadn't quite prepared for, and she fought her first instinct of tossing up a leg to the stomach before looking into the sultry blue eyes. She struggled with the instinct to cry as she looked into them and saw the concerned they showed for her. She should've known that Piper had a sixth sense about things.

Piper looked down and smiled lightly at her "Hey gorgeous," her hand went to her forehead while giving her an anxious look.

There is nothing she can do but wait and hold her close for awhile - waiting patiently for her heart rate to slow and the tremors to calm. They do this little dance in and out of dreams. This is what happens when you are so worn down to nothing and all you can think about is who, and why and the events that lead to finally being with each other.

They both had nightmares - some about people they knew, some about people they had met and some… some so god damn gut wrenching it wasn't even mentioned.

"Bad dreams?" Piper murmured attempting to prod the raven haired goddess into speaking.

She felt Piper settle closer against her "I know exactly what that doctor said to you – but if I can't feel you in a matter of seconds, I will self destruct," Alex whispered softly as if a ghost had gathered near.

Piper grinned at her and with Alex's urging moved at a cats crawl on top of her. Alex watched her eyes change from concern to instant encouragement in the dark. She could read her every wants and desires in seconds just from her touch, or how she spoke or how her body clutched up against hers.

"I have _missed _you," she leans down and whispers in her ear. "There is nothing more I want in this world than you."

Alex smiled shyly and closed the gap between them. Her kisses were hungry and full of passion.

Piper moaned with pleasure "Please Alex, now."

When it came to Piper, Alex needed no encouragement as they shifted positions gasping as her skin melted with Piper's, the feeling of new life in there put her throwing her into ecstasy.

Piper pleaded but she didn't have to because Alex was already there, easily doing what she knew best. She knew Piper's body – every inch and hollow, every scar and freckle and she kissed her like it was the first time all over again.

Each and every kiss made every terrifying memory fade away slowly.

Hot and fevered she moved down her body, her mouth covering every inch of radiant skin that she could reach. "God you're beautiful," she whispered sucking gently at Piper's collarbone intending to leave a light mark.

"Only yours," the blond groaned with pleasure as her body was tightening and her heart slammed in her chest. She could feel Alex's long fingers skillfully moving inside her, hitting the exact spot that in a few seconds would rock her world.

"Not yet," she let out a gluttonous growl that called Piper back to reality. "Alex…" she panted and looked desperately at her.

Alex smiled "I love you and you need to realize that," she moved down her stomach while her fingers and hips moved in a lazy dance putting Piper on edge.

"I know baby, trust me I know. I fucking love you so much," her eyes closed as another wave passed over her and Alex knew she couldn't last much long.

"I love you too, _now_, come for me," her deeper voice encouraged.

Alex held her close as she kissed her feeling Piper quiver with pleasure. "You're only mine baby, _now_…" she urged.

She felt Piper tighten her grip and obey as she pulled her firmly to her. Her whole body shook as she finished out of breath and Piper leaned her forehead against hers trembling, and quivering against her body nearly out of breathe.

"God I fucking love you," she gasped as Alex teased her with a delightfully wicked grin on her face.

Alex raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and places a hand over the blondes slamming heart, "I know, just relax now," she whispers as she leans her forehead against hers enjoying their closeness breath for breath.

Pipers blue eyes snap open intently and Alex doesn't recognize the look of alarm on her face.

"What?!"

"Do you feel that?" she exhales shockingly and places Alex's hands over her stomach.

Alex waits painstakingly for a moment before she smiles a perfect grin at Piper.

"It's kicking Alex."

She chuckles and pulls her tighter to her "Now THIS is what dreams are made of kid."

Piper chuckles and shifts to move on her back "Yes my little ex drug lord– this is what we were made for."

Alex lets her move off of her before turning on her own stomach and propping herself on her elbows to stare at Piper in the moonlight. She plays with the platinum wedding band on her left finger.

No, this wasn't what Alex wanted 7 years ago. This is something she couldn't even dream of doing.

But now as she watches Piper settle in the sheets, her blue eyes exhausted and her body stripped away of any working components; she couldn't imagine being anywhere else in the world.

Her mind drifted as Piper glanced down staring at everything that had become her.

"Hey now, come be my little spoon," she teased in the dark.

Alex felt exhaustion hit her.

She may be stubborn but even she couldn't fight this struggle.

Life is what you make of it and who you decide to surround yourself with it. Just because the worst decisions in the past doesn't mean it isn't the greatest for the future and Alex knows this firsthand.

"I'd love too," she drawls and cuddles up against the only woman who she every cared about.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n** thank you for all your kind words, follows etc. I love it all. I love it if you hit the review button also. Little different but I think it should be good as soon we will be hitting heavy stuff.

much love to all of you who read my stuff ;-)

XxXxXx

Alex arrived home a tad later than she expected. The warehouse to sell wholesale cleared finally and she could rest easy as the money would simply flow. Alex was smarter then what she let on and everything she learned through being at Litchfield with collage courses she mastered this simple deal.

As she entered the cabana, she called out softly in case Piper was asleep.

Her steps were tentative before she heard a low whine And a "Oh GOD yessss," and an "OH FUCK, seriously!"

Then she heard just a low deep, pleasurable moan that chilled her to her very core.

The moans that she made Piper make, THAT only _SHE ONLY _made Piper make. On the other hand, so she thought.

With. Her. Mouth. And. Hands. With. Her. Hips, Also.

"That little shit," she whispers deeply so infuriated that all 5'10 of her doesn't even whip across the room it glides like a poltergeist ready to possess someone.

She opens the partition to see her lovely gorgeous blond under a white sheet, getting a massage by a stranger whom she has never met.

And THIS guy was obviously hitting the right spots. He is tall, dark skinned and young.

His eyes are wide as he pauses in his work glancing at a woman in the corner.

"Did you really just do the thunder-hulk-I'm–jealous-butch-walk?" Piper moans with her eyes closed and it causes Alex's knees to buckle.

The woman in the corner snaps her fingers and he continues.

She watches as the lovely blond wrapped in a snow white sheet winces and then hisses "Ow!" as stranger-danger hits the spot in her deep in her shoulder blade.

Alex was left - for the first time in a long time, speechless.

Piper, hearing no response looked up to see Alex's astonished face, laughed internally while smirking - rolled her eyes and merely pointed to Roccio.

Roccio was the only woman who could rival Alex. She may have only been 5'6 but she had arms that could take out a bison and she could hand wash sheets without breaking a sweat.

She was a plump woman with wicked salt and pepper hair and yet a kind tan face; her eyes twinkled. However, if you thought you could simply walk over Roccio you were incorrect.

Roccio had seen and done things in her lifetime that Alex could not imagine; she just was never caught.

Roccio reminded her of Miss Claudette.

Alex loved her immediately despite Roccio's own slight disdain for Alex.

She was everything she needed for Piper and their unborn.

Roccio was their Spanish house cleaner/eventual nanny who was sitting in the couch lounge reading a Spanish novella/libro.

"Your girl was sick this morning, gringa, so I call for reinforcement," her accent is thick and heavy and she talks down to Alex without ever looking up from her book.

"Seriously Roccio, do I not pay you enough, maybe just _enough_ to tell me these things _before_ I get home? Cell-phon-o? Or to clean?" Alex scoffs pushing her glasses on her head and rubbing her temples.

"Si, and I tell you right now diablo mujer(devil woman) Your house is already clean alright you loco gringa."

Alex eyes have not left Piper's but glances at Roccio in slight stupor, who turns to stare at her while Piper emits a high pitch squeak and mumbles "Gaaawwwwdddddddd."

"He better be straight…" she attempts to throw something at Piper, but Roccio stands up and looks up at Alex. "He is gayer than you and that is saying something."

"Seriously, remind me why I hired you?" Alex is getting irritated and shifts on her feet crossing her arms and adjusts her black lenses.

"Because, I'm the best," she whispers harshly and stands daring her to prove her incorrect.

Piper moans and flinches before settling against the soft pillow topper "Oh my godddd, Alex, can I keep him? He's perrrrfect," Alex can hear her voice drift away and she smiles despite herself.

She then shoots Roccio a dirty look for the way Piper rolled her R's.

"For fucks sakes…"

"Por que esa gringa es tan inteligente pero a la misma vez tan estupida? Por que amas?" Roccio talks nonchalantly at Piper. (why is this white woman so smart and so stupid and why do you love her?)

"Because I do," Pipers muffled voice strains and she giggles.

"Oh dios mio," Roccio does the catholic cross.

"Seriously? English! FUCK!" Alex mumbles feeling left out growing impatient at the time this is taking. She doesn't have control and this is making her squirm easily in her pants. Since she got married she doesn't do jealousy.

"Oh you poor tall white girl." Roccio challenges taunting Alex.

"What the fuck Roccio!?" Alex rebuttals feigning hurt. But she is so jealous right now it's hard to contain herself.

Roccio chuckles obviously enjoying Alex's concern.

"OHHHHHH my God," Pipers groan hits Alex's ears and Roccio owns the 'I win' grin.

"PIPER!" Alex growls dangerously and is about to yell and throw a fit of her own.

"Necesitas callarte la boca y dejar tue problemas de gringa en la puerta. Y dejar que esta mamu se ralaje ( You need to be quiet and leave your white girl problems at the door and let this mama relax )

Roccio may be pushing fifty but she is sharp as a tack and even faster than Alex's quips.

She does not take Alex's shit for a second and can bring her down to planet earth faster than a rocket. Roccio has a huge soft spot for Piper. Roccio loves children and will do anything that is required of her to protect a 'daughter and grandbaby.'

She starts pushing Alex towards the way she came in. Fingers push and prod Alex out of the door and its fun to watch someone so tall jump and scurry quickly.

A 5'6 older woman pushing away a young and robust operational bombshell of 5'10 out of the way is comical in any sense.

Piper watches with amusement. And stifles a laugh before it's taken away with a dark sensual moan and "Jesus."

"Okay okay!" Alex puts her hands up in mock surrender and salutes the super gay general at Pipers shoulders while backing out of the room at a pace she isn't used too.

Piper can see Alex is scowling even from her drowsy eyes …"Mmm baby I love you," Piper whimpers softly under Stranger-Danger who gives Alex a meek 'HEEEEEY,' wave.

"You and I need to talk, ENGLISH," she pulls with her Roccio and out of her portioned off bedroom.

Roccio glowers but allows herself to be led away from the room.

Alex pulled her down to the beach.

"What the fuck do you mean she's been sick?"

"Morning sickness you fucking Neanderthal!" Roccio shoots back at her in near perfect english, barely topping Alex's grimace that is evident all over her face.

"Fucking seriously. She doesn't tell me this?" Alex now dangerous and pacing; attempting to sort things out in her brain, her gray eyes literally show the fear she feels.

"Well what the fuck do you expect her to do? Worry you more?" Roccio stands rooted in her spot watching the younger woman dig a small trench.

Alex sinks into the sand outside the cabana.

"I feel hopeless," she utters.

Roccio looks at her and smiles,

"Welcome to parenthood gringa."


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for your reviews they really make my day. I apologize about the delay. As life gets consuming sometimes. Please give me your ideas or anything you may want to see in here!

XxXxX

_A few years ago…. _

She left the plane ticket and directions with enough cash to not raise suspicions.

Then Piper put her jacket on and walked away until she arrived at her destination.

She bought a house and a cabana and waited.

Daily.

She waited down by the beach relishing the wind hair the salty taste of the air that she sometimes wiped away her tears.

She had freedom, she had money, and yet she was alone.

She thought long and hard, mostly about Alex, and sometimes Polly and her mother and even Larry would flirt the outskirts of her thoughts.

The anticipation of waiting was slowly getting to her but she managed her patience and kept her wits. Even if Alex ever showed up there would be an ultimatum and that is how things were going to have to be.

A life together or a life forever apart?

Lost in her thoughts and writing in her journal she did not notice a presence she normally would have. After all, she rarely had visitors and she owned this little stretch of beach.

She jumped when she felt a familiar hand touch her shoulder. Her arms got goose bumps and her entire skin come alive for the first time in years.

"Bad time to say hello?" the deeper raspy voice murmured above her silkily.

She sighed and internally thanked the heavens above her. "I knew you would find me."

Alex eases in the sand beside her and looks at her for the first time in years. She looks older but not much, her skin is tanned and flawless. She is gorgeous as always. She is far to skinny for Alex's liking but she is nearly positive that is her fault for making her worry so much. Her eyes are a sorrowful blue but alight with possibility.

"It wasn't hard, you left enough to follow for a blind man," she chuckled and shifted her glasses.

"If you've come this far, you'll take one more step with me," her voice doesn't waiver but she stands up and pulls Alex to her feet.

Alex arches an eyebrow and waits patiently.

The blond shifts delicately and then holds out her hand. Metal clinked together but Alex can hardly tear her eyes away from Pipers intense gaze.

Two platinum bands with princess cut diamonds on the top and the sides surrounded the rings.

"You never were subtle gorgeous. Let's do it," she smiles and leans over to kiss her fully.

It is an intense kiss, full of forgiveness and the future, full of unspoken promises and possible heartbreak.

"The preacher arrives tonight," she whispers as she places a light kiss on her exposed collarbone, feeling the raven-haired beauty tremble.

Piper's soft touch moves from her hips up her chest to over her shoulders to pull her impossibly closer.

"You waste no time," she smiles as she feels her whole body tingle with excitement.

"We have wasted plenty," Piper whispers looking into her deep gaze and shifts closer to kiss her fully.

XxXxX

The ceremony was gorgeous, simple, and pure. While it didn't last long the words that rang out were heartfelt and the several people that were there had tears in their eyes.

Alex was sitting in a white chair and kept an eye on Piper while she mingled and laughed with guests.

She looked so wonderful as if years of stress had melted away in one night.

She was dressed in white and her skin was tan from the sun and her days she spent on the beach.

Her smile was infectious and everyone she was talking to was raving about how happy she looked.

She rose from the chair and walked further down the beach away from everywhere and everything, just for a moment.

She needed just a moment of solidarity.

She had literally stepped off a jet, and landed her in this place and gotten married all within 20 hours.

She was so tired and exhausted she could probably curl up in this sand right now and pass out for a few hours… or days.

She looked down the beach and watched the little party going on, watched the bonfire flicker and listened as the music floated down the beach towards her.

She decided to take the back way to the cabana just enough so she could lay down for five minutes or so.

The bed was so soft and inviting and everything she could ever imagine in that moment. She was so exhausted that she didn't even crawl under the covers-just pulled them from the other side. The comforter and sheets and pillows all smelled exactly like Piper. It was intoxicating.

After all, it was just for a few minutes.

XxXxX

After asking the guests who were leaving if they saw Alex, Piper decided to walk to the cabana to see if she was in there.

The site that greeted her was nothing short of a smile displayed on her face.

Alex was passed out, completely tangled in her comforter.

Her dark hair splayed out over the pillows and her arms

Piper walked over to her and sat next to her, a tentative hand reached out and soothed the dark hair away from her face.

It was if all of her dreams had come true in one perfect night. Alex passed out in her bed in this little piece of paradise.

"Poor baby," she whispered.

She slowly pulled the comforter out from Alex's tangled body. She groaned and shifted on her side. Piper climbed in behind her and pulled her close.

"Go back to sleep babe, we have forever now."


End file.
